It is hard to believe that I was so afraid to move to a new city. I was afraid of getting lost (check), of being lonely because I didn't know anyone (check), and I was afraid I would hate my job (check). Having experienced these things has made me realize how much I can't just rely on myself.
I felt (and still do at times) so turned around here. I didn't know what was North or South, or East or West because I'm so used to living in Toronto where landmarks tell me exactly where I am. I've come to rely on the parliament building so I can orient myself with my surroundings. Parliament buildings are North, so everything else is South.
The first week here when Jeremy was at school, I felt so alone because I had no one else to interact with. I started a new job (we'll get to that in a minute) where the ladies that worked there just nit-picked at everything I did (wrong). I missed going to church where I knew everyone, and I missed camp community as well, again where I knew everyone. I came to rely on trying to be a little more outgoing (which is not my nature at all).
As mentioned above, I worked the first week in Ottawa. I hated that job. I was always told how I was doing things wrong, the daycare was disorganized and unprofessional, and I was totally unimpressed with the authority there. I quit after the first week. And I came to rely on my computer to search for new job. And eventually, I did.
So even though I was afraid of getting lost, of being lonely, and of hating my job, I was able to rely on something to get me through that fear. And it's not the parliament buildings, or striving to be less of a wallflower, or even job search engines. Through it all, I prayed. I prayed I would find my way home through all the one-way streets. I prayed that I would meet new people. And I prayed that I would find a job that I love. So even though I relied on other earthly things, God put those there because of my prayers, because He wants to ease my fears and He wants to bless me.
4 years ago